Hilarious Bus Jokes & Puns, A Route to Non-Stop Laughter.

If your daily commute needs a laugh stop, you’ve just found it! Whether you’re a passenger, a proud bus driver, or simply someone who loves a good pun on the move, this collection of 135+ funny bus jokes will have you rolling with laughter. From snappy one-liners to driver’s quick wit and school bus nostalgia, there’s something here for everyone — kids, adults, and anyone who’s ever waited too long at a bus stop.

So grab your ticket, buckle up, and get ready for the funniest ride in town!

Bus Jokes One-Liners, Quick Commute Chuckles.

1. I told my friend a joke about a bus. It was a total wreck.
2. Why did the bus go to the doctor? It had a broken route-ine.
3. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down… unlike this bus at every stop.
4. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer. What do you call a sleeping bus? A bus-dozer.
5. Why was the bus always warm? Because it had too many radiators.
6. This bus is so slow, it’s being overtaken by the calendar.
7. I used to be a bus driver, but I got fired because I couldn’t route out my problems.
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. Why did the bus stay up? It had a lot of support.
9. What’s a bus’s favorite type of music? Route-and-roll.
10. I told my boss I couldn’t come to work because the bus was late. He said, “You should have taken an earlier route.” I said, “I did. This is it.”

Funny Bus Jokes, Route to Laughter.

11. A passenger taps the bus driver on the shoulder to ask a question. The driver screams, loses control of the bus, nearly hits a truck, swerves into a ditch, and then regains control. He turns to the passenger and says, “Don’t ever do that again! You scared me half to death!” The passenger, terrified, apologizes and says, “I didn’t know a tap on the shoulder would frighten you so much.” The driver replies, “I’m sorry, it’s my first day driving a bus… I’ve been a hearse driver for the last 25 years.”
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why did the bus driver win an award? Because he was outstanding on his route.
13. A man gets on a bus with his giraffe. The driver says, “Hey! You can’t bring that on here!” The man says, “Why not? He’s paid his fare and he’s not causing any trouble.” The bus driver insists, “He needs a collar and a leash!” The man gets off, frustrated. The next day, they return. The giraffe is wearing a collar, and the man is holding a leash. The bus driver says, “Okay, fine, you can get on.” As they move to the back, the driver calls out, “Hey! You shouldn’t let him stick his head out the window like that!” The man replies, “Why not? He just likes to smell the route.”
14. What’s the difference between a bus and a lobster? One is a crustacean, and the other is a bus-station.
15. A passenger asked the driver, “Does this bus go to the station?” The driver replied, “No, it’s against company policy to go to the station; we can only go past it.”

Short Funny Bus Driver Jokes: Driver’s Quick Wit

16. Why was the bus driver a good musician? He had great route-ine.
17. What did the bus driver say to the jaywalker? “You’re driving me crazy!”
18. My bus driver is so optimistic, he sees the glass as half full… and the bus as half empty.
19. Why did the bus driver get a ticket? For route running.
20. A bus driver’s favorite game is Route-lette.
21. Bus drivers never get lost. They just take scenic detours.
22. What’s a bus driver’s favorite part of a joke? The punch-line.
23. Why was the bus driver always calm? He knew all the stops and gos.
24. Don’t argue with a bus driver. They have a one-track mind.
25. How does a bus driver say goodbye? “This is my final stop.”

School Bus Jokes for Adults: Backseat Banter

26. Remember the school bus? It was the only place where you could have a full-blown philosophical debate, a food fight, and a nap, all before 8 a.m.
27. The school bus is a perfect example of organized chaos. The driver is in charge, but the real social hierarchy is determined by who gets the back seat.
28. Why did the school bus get a report card? To see if it was making the grade.
29. The most dangerous part of the school bus ride wasn’t the traffic; it was the flying carton of chocolate milk from three rows up.
30. I don’t miss the school bus soundtrack: a symphony of screaming, backpack zippers, and the crinkling of lunch bags.
31. The school bus was our first taste of public transportation and our first lesson in crowd-sourced gossip.
32. Why was the school bus always so tired? Because it had too many classes to carry.
33. You haven’t experienced true panic until you’ve dropped your permission slip on a muddy school bus floor.
34. The school bus driver was the original podcast host, except their only content was yelling, “SIT DOWN!” on a loop.
35. We complained about the school bus being slow, but it was faster than the “I forgot my homework” excuse.

Bus Driver Jokes One-Liners, Wheel Good Puns.

36. I’m wheely tired of this traffic.
37. Let’s get this party started! …No, seriously, this is the start of the route.
38. I’m not late, you’re all just early.
39. This isn’t a taxi, sir. The fare is the same whether you’re going one stop or twenty.
40. My other car is also a bus.
41. I’m just going with the flow of traffic.
42. This job has its ups and downs… especially on hilly routes.
43. I’m not lost, I’m on an exploratory route.
44. Please move to the rear. I’m not saying this for my health, I’m saying it for the next passenger’s.
45. It’s not a delay, it’s an unscheduled stop.

Double-Decker & City Bus Jokes, Urban Route Roasts.

46. Why did the double-decker bus go to therapy? It had too many upper-level issues.
47. What’s the best thing about a double-decker bus? The high quality views.
48. A double-decker bus is just a bus with a penthouse suite.
49. Why are double-decker buses so confident? They’re on a whole other level.
50. What do you call a grumpy double-decker bus? A two-story sour-puss.
51. Riding a city bus is like being in a mobile waiting room with 50 strangers.
52. The city bus: where you learn the true meaning of personal space… or the lack thereof.
53. Why did the city bus break up with the subway? It felt their relationship was too surface-level.
54. My city bus is so crowded, a mime had to give up his imaginary seat.
55. What’s a city bus’s favorite exercise? Route-ine squats.

Bus Stop Jokes, Waiting Game Giggles.

56. I invented a new word today: Platitude. It’s the dull, obvious statement you make while waiting for a bus that’s never coming.
57. Why did the man bring a ladder to the bus stop? He heard the bus was a double-decker and he wanted to be first in line for the top.
58. The bus stop is the great social equalizer. We are all just people standing in a designated rectangle, united by hope and mild frustration.
59. What’s the difference between a bus stop and a fish? One is a place to wait, and the other is a wait to place.
60. I’m not waiting for the bus, I’m anticipating its arrival. It sounds more positive.
61. The bus stop bench is the most optimistic piece of furniture. It believes someone will actually sit on it for just a moment.
62. Why was the bus stop so good at school? It was always on its mark.
63. My bus app said the bus was “1 minute away” for 10 minutes. I think it’s lying to me. We’re in a toxic relationship.
64. The three certainties in life: death, taxes, and the bus arriving just as you’re one block away from the stop.
65. A watched bus never boils… I mean, comes.

Travel & Tourist Bus Jokes, Scenic Route Smiles.

66. Why did the tourist get on the bus backwards? He wanted to see where he’d been.
67. What’s a tourist bus’s favorite movie? The Grand Buda-pest Tour.
68. The tour guide on the bus said, “On your left, you’ll see a beautiful, historic monument.” I was on the wrong side. I saw a laundromat.
69. Why was the tour bus such a good storyteller? It had a great itinerary.
70. A long-distance bus ride is just a test of your bladder’s endurance and your ability to sleep sitting up.
71. What do you call a tourist bus that tells jokes? A comedy coach.
72. The sign on the travel bus said, “Don’t annoy the driver.” So, we all sat quietly, which also seemed to annoy him.
73. Why did the travel bus cross the road? To get to the other side of the scenic overlook.
74. I asked the coach driver if this was the bus to the national park. He said, “No, this is the bus to the airport.” I said, “Well, can you take a detour?” He said, “No, my job is to take the high road, not the scenic route.”
75. The best part of a travel bus is the onboard bathroom. The worst part of a travel bus is also the onboard bathroom.

School & College Bus Puns & One-Liners, Campus Commute Comedy.

76. Why was the school bus always getting good grades? It was great at route-ing.
77. What did the college bus say to the freshman? “Welcome to the daily grind!”
78. The school bus: the original social network.
79. Why did the pencil case get on the school bus? It needed a lift to school.
80. My college bus is always late. I think it’s majoring in Tardiness.
81. What’s a school bus’s favorite subject? Geograph-ee!
82. Why did the textbook miss the bus? It had too many problems.
83. The school bus is yellow because it’s the color of caution… and slightly sour lemon candy.
84. Riding the college bus is cheaper than tuition, but often just as crowded.
85. Why did the student sit on the bus roof? He wanted to raise his GPA (Getting Perched Altitude).

Love & Friendship Bus Jokes: Buddy Ride Bliss.

86. I fell in love on a bus. It was a moving experience.
87. What did one bus seat say to the other? “I’ve got a crush on you, care to sit together for the rest of the route?”
88. We met at a bus stop. It was a case of love at first wait.
89. You know it’s true love when you save a seat for someone on a crowded bus.
90. Our friendship is like a reliable bus route; it’s always there when you need it.
91. Why did he give her a bus pass? He wanted to take their relationship to the next stop.
92. We may have missed our bus, but at least we’re lost together.
93. A couple on a bus is called a bus-buddy system.
94. I told my friend, “This bus ride is boring.” He said, “I find it very transit-taining.”
95. How do you know your bus buddy is a true friend? They wake you up when it’s your stop.

Final Stop: Best Bus Humor Roundup, Ultimate Route to Laughter.

96. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
97. What’s the difference between a bus driver and a vampire? One sucks blood, and the other… actually, never mind, they both have to deal with people who are a pain in the neck.
98. I asked the bus driver, “Does this bus go to the airport?” He said, “No, it flies there.”
99. Why did the bus stop in the middle of the road? Because it saw a fork.
100. A man gets on a bus with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says to the driver, “How much for me and this little bit of the road?”
101. The pessimist says the bus is half empty. The optimist says the bus is half full. The bus driver says, “Please move down the bus, there’s plenty of room at the back!”
102. My bus driver is so good, he could parallel park a submarine.
103. Why don’t buses ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding something that says “BUS” in giant letters on the side.
104. The history of buses is long and winding… much like their routes.
105. I read that you are what you eat. That’s worrying, as I just ate a bus ticket.
106. What do you call a bus from Wales? A Telly-bus.
107. I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust… unlike this bus, which is gathering passengers.
108. Why was the math book always sad on the bus? It had too many problems.
109. A bus ticket is just a paper promise that you’ll get where you’re going… eventually.
110. What’s a ghost’s favorite bus? The one that goes to the boo-s stop.
111. I told my boss the bus was late because it was tired. He didn’t buy it.
112. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the bus ketchup.
113. The bus’s favorite day of the week is Route-sday.
114. Never trust an atom. They make up everything. Never trust a bus schedule. They make up times.
115. What’s a bus’s least favorite terrain? A road-block.
116. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food on the bus, and I eat it. (Please don’t actually do this).
117. Why did the bus get a ticket? It was station-ary for too long.
118. What’s the difference between a bus and a pregnancy? You can get off a bus.
119. A clean bus is a sign of no passengers.
120. The bus is the only place where “excuse me” is both an apology and a threat.
121. Why did the scarecrow become a bus driver? He was outstanding in his field and wanted a change of scenery.
122. My bus is so old, its odometer is a sundial.
123. What do you call a bus that’s also a magician? A vani-bus!
124. I used to hate bus travel, but I’m coming around.
125. Why did the passenger bring a map on the bus? In case the driver needed directions.
126. A bus without passengers is just a very large, lonely car.
127. What’s a bus’s favorite social media platform? Route-erest.
128. The bus is a rolling testament to the fact that we’re all going in the same direction, just getting off at different stops.
129. I’m not saying my bus is slow, but passengers have started growing gardens in the aisle.
130. Why did the bus go to the gym? To improve its route-ine.
131. What’s the ultimate bus joke? This one. Because it’s the final stop!
132. A bus driver’s mantra: “Keep calm and carry on… about 50 people.”
133. The wheels on the bus go round and round… and so do my thoughts as I wonder why I’m always sitting next to that person.
134. What do you call a bus that tells the future? A fortune-teller bus! (It knows all the stops ahead).
135. And finally, why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the bus stop. It had a very important cluck-culus exam to get to.

We hope you enjoyed the ride through our collection of hilarious bus jokes and puns! Whether you’re a daily commuter, a nostalgic student, or just someone who appreciates funny bus driver humor, there’s always room for one more laugh on the comedy bus. Share these with your friends and make your next journey a route to laughter