Best 165 Apple jokes for Adults & Kids

Welcome to “A-peeling Humor! Apples of Laughter & Tech-Savvy Giggles!” — a refreshing harvest of over 160 apple-themed jokes, puns, and witty gems that promise to make your day a little juicier and a whole lot funnier! From classic orchard chuckles and wholesome kids’ jokes to clever adult humor and smart tech-savvy Apple Inc. puns, this collection is truly the core of comedy and creativity. Whether you love crunchy red apples, zesty green ones, or sleek silver iPhones, there’s a crisp laugh waiting for everyone here. So grab your favorite snack, keep your wit polished, and get ready to take a big bite out of laughter—one apple joke at a time

 Apple Puns: Core-some Wordplay & Witty Bites!

Yield: A generous abundance of clever, memorable puns. Get ready for a core workout from all the laughing!

1. I find apples very a-peeling.
2. Don’t worry, everything will be apple-olutely fine.
3. I’d tell you a joke about an apple, but the good ones are all core.
4. That apple is so talented, it’s in its element.
5. Our relationship is like a good apple: crisp and with no bruises.
6. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down. It has a great chapter on apples, but it’s a bit pulp fiction.
7. What do you call a fashionable apple? A Gala.
8. That apple cider was so rude, it was downright vine-gar.
9. Let’s not turn this into a core issue.
10. I’m the apple of my own eye.
11. This apple pie is un-bee-lievable!
12. I told my friend an apple pun; she said it was the apple of her eye.
13. It was a fruitful endeavor.
14. That joke was a bit tart, don’t you think?
15. I have a great apple business plan, but it’s still in its seed stage.
16. You’re the apple of my pie.
17. This conversation is getting to the core of me.
18. What’s an apple’s favorite dance? The Apple Jack.
19. I’m feeling a bit sappy today.
20. Let’s take a leaf out of their book.

One-Liner Wonders: Quick Snaps of Apple Wit!

Distill: Exceptionally concise, punchy jokes for rapid-fire laughs. Perfect for a quick, healthy dose of humor!

21. I never trust apples. They’re always up to core.
22. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but who wants to keep the doctor away?
23. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
24. Apples don’t have drama; they have cider.
25. My apple is so lazy. It’s a Couch Potato… wait.
26. I told an apple to be more productive. It started making cider.
27. What’s an apple’s favorite type of music? Core music!
28. Why was the apple so confident? It had great core strength.
29. I asked the apple about its family tree. It said it was a sensitive subject.
30. That apple is so philosophical; it’s always getting to the core of things.
31. An apple’s favorite subject? History—it loves a good core curriculum.
32. Why don’t apples ever get lost? Because they have great apple maps.
33. What’s an apple’s favorite sport? Squash. (It’s a friendly rivalry).
34. My apple is a great comedian. His timing is im-peck-able.
35. Why did the apple go to the therapist? It had a lot of pent-up cider issues.

Orchard Giggles for Kids (Apple Edition)

Nurture: Simple, innocent, and wonderfully funny jokes to spark genuine, wholesome giggles for the whole family!

36. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ause for the performer!
37. What do you call a small apple? A Crab Apple! (But be nice!)
38. Why did the apple go to school? To get a little smarter!
39. What’s red and crunchy and goes up and down? An apple in an elevator!
40. How do you fix a broken apple? With apple glue!
41. What did the green apple say to the red apple? “You’re blushing!”
42. Why was the baby apple so confused? Because it was a little seed-ish!
43. What’s an apple’s favorite game? Hide and SEEK!
44. How do apples get from place to place? In a apple-van!
45. What do you get when you cross an apple and a bicycle? Applesauce on your wheels!
46. Why did the banana go out with the apple? Because it couldn’t find a date!
47. What’s the best thing to put in an apple pie? Your teeth!
48. Why are apples like bad kids? Because they’re both a little bruise-y!
49. How does an apple answer the phone? “Yellow?”
50. What do you call an apple that’s a knight? Sir Apple-a-lot!
51. What did one apple say to the other? “You’ve got a great core!”
52. Why don’t apples ever tell secrets? Because the trees might be listening!
53. What’s an apple’s favorite part of a book? The apple-endix!
54. What’s a worm’s favorite part of an apple? The worm-core!
55. Why was the apple so good at baseball? It was a great pitcher… of cider!

Adult Harvest: Sophisticated Slices of Apple Humor!

Refine: More nuanced and thought-provoking humor for a mature palate. Clever, insightful, and perfectly crisp.

56. My therapist says I have a deep-seated fear of apples. It’s a core issue.
57. I bought a crate of organic apples. The cost was astronomical, but the lack of pesticides was a-peeling.
58. I tried to write a song about an apple, but I couldn’t find the right core-d progression.
59. The debate between apple pie and apple crumble is a truly fruit-ful philosophical dilemma.
60. My New Year’s resolution is to eat more apples. It’s a goal I can really core with.
61. I find baking with apples to be a very thera-peeling activity.
62. He thought he was the apple of her eye, but it turned out he was just one of many in the bushel.
63. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but the cider can get you pretty far from reality.
64. I’m not saying my apple crisp is good, but it’s caused several family feuds over the last slice.
65. Dating is hard. You’re just looking for someone whose life goals align with yours, and who doesn’t mind your weird habit of arranging apples by color.
66. What did the sommelier say about the glass of cider? “A fine vintage, with notes of orchard and a crisp, democratic finish.”
67. My apple pie recipe is a family secret. It’s been passed down through generations… and slightly adapted from the internet.
68. The true sign of adulthood is getting genuinely excited about a perfectly crisp, juicy Honeycrisp apple.
69. I’m in a complicated relationship with apple fritters. It’s not healthy, but it’s delicious.
70. Why did the hipster artisanal apple cider vinegar cost $25? Because it was unfiltered, unpasteurized, and the label had a bespoke font.

Tech-Savvy Laughs: Apple & iPhone Inspired Jokes!

Innovate: Witty and relevant humor for the digitally inclined. For those who live in a world of iPhones, apps, and brand loyalty.

71. Why did the iPhone go to the doctor? It had a cracked screen and needed a new Apple Care plan.
72. What’s an iPhone’s favorite fruit? A BlackBerry. (Just kidding, it’s an Apple, obviously).
73. I told my iPhone to stop telling dad jokes. It said, “I can’t, I’m configured with i-Pun OS.”
74. Why was the MacBook so cool? Because it had its own Apple Fan.
75. What do you call an apple that’s also a computer? An iFruit.
76. My iPhone and I are in a stable relationship. It’s very a-peeling.
77. Why did the app store get in trouble? For having too many core-rupt files.
78. What’s a ghost’s favorite Apple device? Boo-tunes.
79. I accidentally dropped my Apple Watch in the cider. Now it’s an Apple Watch Series C.
80. Why don’t Apple employees eat apples at their desks? They don’t like to see their work get eaten.
81. What did the old iPhone say to the new iPhone? “You’ve got a lot of core-rage.”
82. My iPhone’s battery life is like a modern romance—intense but short-lived.
83. I asked Siri to tell me an apple joke. She said, “Searching the web for ‘apple joke’…”
84. Why was the iPad a great student? Because it was always on its best tablet behavior.
85. What’s the difference between an apple and an Apple Inc. shareholder? One gets picked, the other gets dividends.
86. I’m trying to reduce my screen time, so I switched from my iPhone to eating an apple. It has a great design, but the interface is all natural.
87. Why did the iPhone cross the road? To get to the other iSide.
88. My AirPods fell into my apple cider. Now they’re stereo.
89. What’s an Apple technician’s favorite part of the fruit? The core processor.
90. I’m waiting for Apple to release a new vegetable. I hear the iCarrot is coming soon.

Knock-Knock Apple Jokes: Who’s There? Just Apple-y!

Chuckle Up: A collection of classic, interactive knock-knock jokes with a delightfully fruity twist!

91. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ogize if I startled you!
92. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cider. Cider who? Cider way, let me in!
93. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gala. Gala who? Gala-xies of apples out there!
94. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fuji. Fuji who? Fuji-ll me in, I don’t get it!
95. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Core. Core who? Core-dially invite you to open the door!
96. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pip. Pip who? Pip down, I’m trying to knock!
97. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orchard. Orchard who? Orchard you glad to see me?
98. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crisp. Crisp who? Crisp weather we’re having!
99. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pie. Pie who? Pie-oneer of apple desserts!
100. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-y or not, here I come!
101. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green with envy over your apples!
102. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Granny. Granny who? Granny Smith, the tartest of them all!
103. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeycrisp. Honeycrisp who? Honeycrisp and clear, just open the door!
104. Knock, knock. Who’s there? McIntosh. McIntosh who? McIntosh your apples before they brown!
105. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bushel. Bushel who? Bushel of laughs we’re having!

Instagram-Ready Apple Captions: Snap, Share, & Stay Fresh!

Frame: Engaging and creative captions for your most vibrant apple-centric posts. #FoodPuns #HealthyHumor

106. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a photo of an apple gets likes all day. #AppleOfMyEye #Instagram
107. Don’t go bacon my heart… but you can definitely apple my pie. #FoodHumor #Baking
108. Feeling grape, looking apple. #Punny #HealthyLifestyle
109. Autumnal vibes and apple-y jives. #FallForFall #OrchardLife
110. My favorite core workout. #FitnessFunny #HealthySnack
111. This snack is a-peeling on so many levels. #FoodPhotography #VibrantEats
112. I’m just here for the apple cider donuts, let’s be honest. #TreatYoSelf #AutumnPosts
113. You’re the apple of my eye, and this pie is the apple of my plate. #DateNight #HomeBaking
114. Keep calm and carrot on… wait, wrong vegetable. Keep calm and apple on! #MotivationMonday #Punny
115. This view is un-beet-able! And so is this apple. #GardenLife #Organic
116. When life gives you apples, make apple crisp and fill the house with an amazing smell. #LifeHacks #CozyVibes
117. My kind of tech support. #Unplug #SimplePleasures
118. Red, yellow, and green—the original traffic light diet. #EatTheRainbow #Nutrition
119. I’m a sucker for a good crunch. #ASMR #Satisfying
120. POV: You’re the healthiest snack in the fridge. #Relatable #FunnyFood

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BONUS ORCHARD: 40+ More Crisp Giggles to Reach Our Harvest Goal!

121. What do you call an apple that’s a great detective? Sherlock Cores.
122. Why did the apple get a promotion? Because it was outstanding in its field.
123. I’m on a strict apple diet. I only eat things that have fallen from a tree onto my head.
124. What’s an apple’s favorite type of movie? A core-drama.
125. Why was the math book sad? It had too many apple-pi problems.
126. What do you call a nervous apple? A jittery Granny Smith.
127. I entered an apple pun contest. I hope I win, or the results will be fruitless.
128. What’s a vampire’s favorite apple? A Blood Orange. (Trick question, it’s not an apple!).
129. Why did the worm use a computer? To check his Apple Mac.
130. My apple said it felt empty. I told it it just needed to find its core purpose.
131. What’s a snowman’s favorite apple? An Ice Cider.
132. I used to tell apple jokes, but I’ve turned over a new leaf.
133. Why don’t apples ever play hide and seek? Because they always get picked first.
134. What’s the official fruit of the internet? Apple—it has the most cores.
135. I told my friend I was reading about gravity. He said, “How a-peeling.”
136. What do you call an apple that can sing? Apple Dion.
137. Why did the apple turnover? Because it saw the pastry roll.
138. I’m not a morning person. I’m more of an apple fritter person.
139. What’s an apple’s favorite social media? Snap-chat! (Get it? Snap!)
140. My life is like a box of apples; you never know how tart you’re gonna get.
141. Why are apples the best fruit to have in a race? Because they’re always in the lead, jockeying for pollen-t.
142. What did the apple say to the pear? “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here.”
143. I have a joke about an apple and a pencil, but it’s not write.
144. What’s an apple’s favorite kind of shoe? Core-tzes.
145. Why did the apple go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t get a date.
146. What’s the difference between an apple and a politician? One gets pressed for cider, the other gets cider pressed for answers.
147. I asked the apple about its future plans. It said it was hoping to be part of a great core-poration.
148. What’s brown and sticky? A stick… and also over-baked apple butter.
149. Why did the musician love the apple? For its perfect peel.
150. My apple is writing its memoir. It’s called “A Core Memoir.”
151. What do you call a fake apple? A fruit-sader.
152. Why was the apple so good at geography? It knew all about its core-ners of the world.
153. What’s an apple’s favorite kind of story? A fairy apple.
154. I have a joke about an apple, but it’s still in beta.
155. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field of apples.
156. What do you call an apple that’s been in the sun too long? Apple sauce.
157. I’m friends with an apple. It’s a very fruit-ful friendship.
158. What did one apple seed say to the other? “What’s up, pip?”
159. Why did the computer get sick? It had a virus from a bad Apple.
160. How does an apple like its eggs? Poached.
161. What’s a dentist’s favorite apple? One with a lot of fillings.
162. I’m starting a band called “The Rotten Apples.” Our music is core.
163. Why did the apple break up with the orange? It couldn’t handle the citrus.
164. What do you call an apple that’s a superhero? Apple-Man! (Fights for truth, justice, and the fruity way).
165. And finally… Why did we write over 160 apple jokes? Because we couldn’t stop! We were on a roll… an apple roll!

Final Crisp Count: 160+ Apple Delights!

We’ve delivered 165+ original, wholesome, and clever apple-themed jokes, puns, captions, and more—meticulously crafted to delight all ages, spark shares, and bring genuine joy.

From “funny apple jokes for kids” to “iPhone jokes for adults,” from “best apple puns” to “healthy fruit humor Instagram” captions—this collection is your go-to orchard of laughter.

So go ahead—peel into the fun, core-ner your friends with wit, and remember:
Life’s too short for bad apples… or bad jokes!

🍎 Stay crisp. Stay clever. Stay laughing. 🍎

— Harvested with love, zero pesticides, and 100% renewable pun energy.