Get ready to ruffle some feathers with laughter! Whether you’re a birdwatcher, a pun-lover, or just someone who enjoys a good squawk-worthy chuckle, this massive collection delivers over 300 feather-light, family-friendly, and fabulously funny bird jokes and puns. From clever wordplay to knock-knock classics—and yes, even a whole flock of Big Bird gags—we’ve got every wingbeat of humor covered. So spread your wings, perch a while, and enjoy this chirpy compilation that’s truly a-peck-tastic!
Bird Puns: Feather-tastic Wordplay!
- I’m not mocking you, I’m just telling a joke.
- This hummingbird software is great, it really ups my work-flo.
- I’m so egg-cited about these puns!
- That’s a toucan of fun!
- Don’t be so gull-ible.
- I’m having a hoot writing these.
- Let’s stop this fowl language.
- That joke was un-bird-lievable!
- I’m feeling a bit down today. Just a little egret.
- This is my swan song for bad puns.
- You’re looking emu-sing today.
- I’m not lion, I’m cheetah… wait, wrong animal. My bird!
- That idea is absolutely egg-cellent.
- I’m owl ears when you talk.
- It’s nest to impossible to stop.
- That story is totally im-peck-able.
- You’re my best bill.
- Let’s get this party started, it’s tweet-ment time!
- I’m not lazy, I’m just winging it.
- This is the puffin best list ever.
- I’m raven about these puns.
- Quail-ty over quantity, I always say.
- Don’t worry, bee happy… drat, wrong insect. Finch-ish your work first!
- That’s a hawk-ward situation.
- I’m feeling a bit drained. Must be a vulture moment.
- This is for the larks!
- You’re kiwi-ng me!
- I’m not cheap, I’m just thrifty. A real budget-igar.
- That’s the tern of events.
- I’m not sure, I’m still talon it in.
- Owl bet you can’t guess the next one.
- This is my pelican of jokes.
- Don’t be so crane-ky.
- I’m not a pessimist, I’m a real bird of prey-doom.
- Let’s flock this way.
- You’re a real star-ling.
- I’m shrike-en with fear!
- That’s a coot idea!
- I’m not ignoring you, I’m just giving you the cold shoulder… like a penguin.
- This is a fly-by operation.
Bird Jokes One-Liners: Quick Flaps of Fun!
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
- What do you call a duck that gets straight A’s? A wise quacker!
- What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! …Wait, that’s not a bird. What do you call a sleeping owl? A hoot-ennui!
- Why are owls so wise? Because they don’t give a hoot what you think.
- What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark? A bird that will talk your ear off!
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- What’s a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and Squeak!
- Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because his bill was too big!
- What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? Chicken!
- What’s a woodpecker’s favorite kind of bread? Toasted.
- Why did the bird go to the hospital? It needed a tweet-ment!
- What do you call a canary that has fainted? A yellow-bellied sap-sucker!
- What’s a bird’s favorite subject? Owl-gebra!
- Why don’t birds use Facebook? They prefer Twitter.
- What do you call a bird that’s good at baseball? A bat!
- Why was the bird a successful comedian? He had a great sense of humor, it was im-peck-able!
- What’s a penguin’s favorite relative? Aunt Arctica!
- Why did the sparrow get a ticket? It was parked on a power line!
Bird Jokes for Kids: Chirpy & Cheerful Giggles!
- What do you call a baby bird that misbehaves? A grounded-ling!
- Why did the little bird get in trouble at school? He was caught tweeting during a test!
- How do birds dance? Chick to chick!
- What do you give a sick bird? Tweet-ment!
- Where do birds go for vacation? The bird-amas!
- What do you call a bird that can fix anything? A macaw-penter!
- How do you know if a bird is a good artist? It’s a great draw-inger!
- Why was the baby owl so happy? Because his mom gave him a to-wit-to-woo!
- What game do birds play at sleepovers? Duck, Duck, Goose!
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of pizza? One that’s for the birds! Just kidding, it’s worm-topped!
- How does a bird keep its feathers neat? With a vi-preener!
- What do you call a bird that’s always telling stories? A myna-bird!
- Why did the duck become a detective? He was great at quack-ing cases!
- What’s a parrot’s favorite movie? The one with the polly-gon animation!
- How do birds send messages to each other? By feather-mail!
- What do you call a bird that’s a knight? Sir Chirps-a-lot!
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
- What’s a bird’s favorite exercise? Wing flaps!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut! …Wait, that’s not a bird. How do you catch a special bird? Unique up on it!
- What do you call a bird that’s always cold? A brrr-d!
Funny Bird Jokes (General Audience): A Peck Above the Rest!
- A man walks into a pet shop and sees a beautiful parrot. The shop owner says, “This parrot is special. It can recite the entire ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.” The man is amazed and buys the parrot. He takes it home and for days, he tries to get the parrot to speak, but it remains silent. Frustrated, he goes back to the pet shop. The owner says, “Oh, I forgot to mention. You have to hold a burning match under his foot to get him started.” The man is horrified but decides to try it. He lights a match and holds it under the parrot’s foot. The parrot yells, “HOT! HOT!” and then begins, “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up…”
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! …But the birds just thought he was crow-ded.
- A penguin is driving his car when it starts overheating. He pulls into a service station. The mechanic looks at the car and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.” The penguin wipes his face and says, “No, it’s just ice cream.”
- Two vultures are about to board an airplane. One turns to the other and says, “I don’t like this; I’m going to bring my own carrion.”
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a unicycle? Attire! …Wait. What’s the difference between a pigeon? One is a bird, and the other… is also a bird. They’re both pigeons. It’s a terrible joke, and I’m ducking out now.
- A man is walking through the woods and finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie appears. “I will grant you one wish,” says the genie. The man says, “I want to be rich beyond my wildest dreams, loved by all, and to live forever.” The genie replies, “I’m a genie, not a miracle worker. Ask for something realistic.” The man thinks and says, “Okay, I want all the birdwatchers in the world to like me.” The genie sighs, “Let’s go back to the ‘live forever’ thing. How long were you thinking?”
- Why did the chicken become a banker? To get more eggs-tra interest!
- A duck, a pigeon, and a robin walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
- What do you call a parrot who has flown away? A polygon! (Polly gone!)
- How do you know if a bird is a good judge of character? It’s a great caw-nisseur.
Short Bird Jokes for Adults: Quick-Witted & Winged!
- My parrot is a minimalist. He only says, “Less is more.”
- I broke up with my falconer girlfriend. She was too controlling.
- Dating a poultry farmer is eggs-hausting. All he talks about is how he needs a new layer.
- The ornithologist’s funeral was lovely. It was a grave occasion, but he would have been egret-ful he missed it.
- I bought a decoy duck for my bathtub. It’s my rubber ducky’s emotional support animal.
- My relationship with the early bird is complicated. I prefer the worm that sleeps in.
- The chicken joined a support group. It’s for poultry in broth.
- I told my friend a bird pun. He said it was cheep.
- The competitive birdwatcher was disqualified for fowl play.
- My parrot is great at giving advice. He’s a real poll-y-math.
Bird Jokes for Adults: Flight of Grown-Up Laughter!
- A man is driving down a country road when he sees a farmer holding a pig up to an apple tree, letting the pig eat the apples. He sees this every day for a week. Finally, he pulls over and asks, “Excuse me, sir, isn’t that a very inefficient way to feed apples to your pig?” The farmer replies, “What’s time to a pig?” The man is confused but drives off. The next week, he sees the farmer holding the same pig up to a pear tree. He pulls over again. “Sir, I have to ask again. Why don’t you just shake the tree and let the pig eat the fruit off the ground? It would save you so much time and effort!” The farmer looks at the pig, then back at the man, and says, “Time? What’s time to a pig? And besides, what would the peacock do for a job?”
- A man is walking through a forest when he comes across a magical parrot. The parrot says, “I am a magical parrot. I can grant you one wish, but whatever you wish for, your worst enemy will get double.” The man thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, I wish for you to pluck out one of my feathers.”
- A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know, what does he look like?”
- A man goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I think I’m a pigeon.” The psychiatrist asks, “How long have you felt this way?” The man replies, “Ever since I was an egg.”
- Two birds are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and says, “Do you smell fish?”
- A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, “I’d like some chapstick.” The cashier says, “That’ll be $2.50.” The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”
- A man is trying to sell a parrot. A buyer asks, “Are you sure this parrot can talk?” The seller says, “Absolutely. He’s been negotiating his price for the last hour.”
- An ostrich and a duck are at a bar discussing their love lives. The ostrich says, “I’m so frustrated. Every time I meet someone I like, I get nervous and stick my head in the sand.” The duck says, “You think that’s bad? I have a lisp.”
- Why did the turkey get promoted? Because he was the only one with the guts to stick his neck out.
- A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”
Knock-Knock Bird Jokes: Who’s There? A Hoot!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl you need is love!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Toucan. Toucan who? Toucan play at this game!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Duck. Duck who? Duck-tape fixes everything!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you! Hand over your worms!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you! Did an egg just sneeze?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana hold your hand like a lovebird!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Canary. Canary who? Canary you please let me in? It’s cold out here!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Pigeon. Pigeon who? Pigeon on the gate is why I can’t come in!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker if I told you my name again?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Humming. Humming who? Humming-bird you are, you’ll never know!
Big Bird Jokes: Sunny Day Smiles!
- Why is Big Bird such a messy eater? Because he’s always in a fowl mood!
- What’s Big Bird’s favorite kind of math? Yellow-gebra!
- Why did Big Bird go to the therapist? He had too many fowl thoughts.
- What’s Big Bird’s favorite dance? The Funky Chicken! (Even though he’s not a chicken.)
- How does Big Bird keep his feathers so yellow? With Sunny-D!
- What does Big Bird call his autobiography? “It’s Not Easy Being Yellow.”
- Why did Big Bird get a ticket? For jay-feathering!
- What’s Big Bird’s favorite software? Tweet-er!
- How does Big Bird like his eggs? Sunnyside up, of course!
- Why is Big Bird a great friend? He’s never too chicken to stand by you.
Flying High & Winged Wonders: (Mixed Puns & Jokes)
- What do you call a bird that’s flown into a clean window? A pane-ful experience.
- Why did the pilot get a pet bird? For the frequent flyer miles.
- I’m reading a book on the history of gliding. It’s impossible to put down.
- What do you call a bird with a great vertical leap? A hop-timal!
- Why did the goose fly south for the winter? Because it was too far to walk!
- What’s a bird’s favorite mode of transportation? A fly-cycle!
- I’m not a pilot, but I’m great at winging it.
- What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights? A chicken!
- Why did the sparrow get a job as a pilot? He had a natural talent for landing on airstrips… and power lines.
- What flies without wings? Time! But a bird with a watch is always on time.
Chirping & Squawking Shenanigans: (Mixed Puns & Jokes)
- What do you call a bird that’s a terrible singer? A tone-deaf finch.
- Why did the parrot get a job in a call center? He was great at squawking!
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good tweet!
- Why did the canary get a recording contract? It had a golden voice.
- What do you call a bird that’s always complaining? A whine-ger!
- How do birds communicate over long distances? With a tele-beeper!
- What’s a duck’s favorite sound? An echo-quack!
- Why was the owl such a bad singer? He was always off-key… to-wit-to-whoops!
- What do you call a bird that can carry a tune? A hum-dinger!
- Why did the rooster join a heavy metal band? He already had the killer screech.
Nest Nods & Feathered Fun: (Mixed Puns & Jokes)
- Why did the bird lay its egg on the field? It wanted to play egg-ball!
- What do you call a bird’s home that’s also a hairstylist? A preener’s nest!
- Why was the bird’s nest so wealthy? It was made with interest-ing twigs.
- What do you call an egg that goes to church? A pew-let!
- Why did the chicken sit on the axe? To hatchet!
- What’s a bird’s favorite part of a house? The roof, it’s nest to the sky!
- How does a bird keep its nest cool? With a fan-tastic!
- What do you call a messy bird’s home? A pig’s nest! …Wait, no. A slob-ird’s nest!
- Why did the egg get a promotion? It was always hard-boiled and got things done.
- What’s a bird’s favorite Shakespeare play? The Taming of the Shrew… wait, no. The Tempest? Actually, it’s Much Ado About Pecking.
And 140+ More for Good Measure!
- What do you call a bird that’s a magician? A crow-dini!
- Why did the bird get a job at the bakery? He was a great egg-beater.
- What’s a bird’s favorite website? Feather-book!
- Why was the bird a great employee? He was never afraid to wing it.
- What do you call a bird that’s a spy? A secret a-gent-oo!
- Why did the duck become an actor? He was a great quack-tor!
- What’s a bird’s favorite sport? Bad-feather-ton!
- Why did the bird go to the seance? To talk to the other side… of the bird feeder.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? A royal tern!
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems… and a bird ate its cover.
- What do you call a bird that’s a detective? Sherlock Crows!
- Why did the bird sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time!
- What’s a bird’s favorite social media platform? Flutter!
- Why did the bird get a ticket for speeding? He was going over the jay-walking limit.
- What do you call a bird that’s a chef? A cook-oo!
- Why did the bird join the gym? To improve its flock-tuality.
- What’s a bird’s favorite candy? Peeps!
- Why did the bird go to the doctor? It had a case of the peck-sniffles.
- What do you call a bird that’s a construction worker? A crane!
- Why did the bird get a degree in philosophy? To understand the meaning of egg-sistence.
- What’s a bird’s favorite movie genre? Rom-coms with a lot of chick-flicks.
- Why did the bird cross the road? To get away from the bad puns.
- What do you call a bird that’s a musician? A rockin’ robin!
- Why did the bird become a tailor? He was great at sewing with his beak.
- What’s a bird’s favorite state? New Yolk!
- Why did the bird get fired from the orchestra? He kept missing his cues… he was a little hawk-ward.
- What do you call a bird that’s a judge? A justice of the peaces!
- Why did the bird go to the art museum? To see the egg-hibit.
- What’s a bird’s favorite game show? Feather or No Feather!
- Why did the bird become a librarian? He loved a good book… worm.
- What do you call a bird that’s a superhero? Captain A-merlin-ca!
- Why did the bird sit on the boombox? He wanted to drop some sick beats.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of story? A fable with a moral… and a hawk.
- Why did the bird get a computer? To check his nest-egg online.
- What do you call a bird that’s a pirate? Cap’n Sparrow!
- Why did the bird get a haircut? For his feather-do!
- What’s a bird’s favorite thing to drink? Nectar-day!
- Why did the bird become a gardener? He had a green thumb… and a green feather.
- What do you call a bird that’s a boxer? A feather-weight champion!
- Why did the bird go to the comedy club? For a good caw-medy show.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of shoe? Claw-ks!
- Why did the bird become a meteorologist? He was great at forecasting feather-nados.
- What do you call a bird that’s a firefighter? A smoke-jay!
- Why did the bird get a map? He wanted to find the worm-est place on Earth.
- What’s a bird’s favorite kind of party? A nest-ival!
- Why did the bird become a banker? To work in a branch office.
- What do you call a bird that’s a teacher? A wise old owl… but he gives pop quacks.
- Why did the bird get a telescope? To look at the starlings.
- What’s a bird’s favorite constellation? The Big Pecker… I mean, Dipper.
- Why did the bird become a DJ? He loved to spin tracks and drop the bass… and the seeds.
- What do you call a bird that’s always on the phone? A chat-tering!
- Why did the bird get a gym membership? For his wing muscles.
- What’s a bird’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone… because it’s long and you can peck it.
- Why did the bird become a politician? He was good at empty nest promises.
- What do you call a bird that’s a villain? A terror-dactyl!
- Why did the bird go to the bank? To check his bill-fold.
- What’s a bird’s favorite kind of humor? Puns that are a little fowl.
- Why did the bird become a beekeeper? He loved the honey, but not the stingers.
- What do you call a bird that’s a poet? Edgar Allan Crow!
- Why did the bird get a new suit? For his feather-day party.
- What’s a bird’s favorite kind of car? A Volks-wagen Beetle… full of bugs!
- Why did the bird become a detective? He was a master of fowl play.
- What do you call a bird that’s a knight? Sir Rounds-a-Lot!
- Why did the bird get a time machine? To see the dino-squawks.
- What’s a bird’s favorite fruit? A pome-granate… because it’s fun to peck open.
- Why did the bird become a barber? He was an expert at the feather-cut.
- What do you call a bird that’s a scientist? Albert Egg-stein!
- Why did the bird get a boat? To sail the seven seeds.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub… from Sub-way.
- Why did the bird become a judge? He believed in law and odor… I mean, order.
- What do you call a bird that’s a cowboy? A quail-rider!
- Why did the bird get a passport? For his feather-eign vacation.
- What’s a bird’s favorite board game? Guess Who?… but only with other birds.
- Why did the bird become a chef? He had a natural talent for eggs-beneficial.
- What do you call a bird that’s a ghost? A scare-crow! …No, a goost!
- Why did the bird get a dictionary? To improve his voca-beak-ulary.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of movie? Something with a lot of action and a hawk-ward romance subplot.
- Why did the bird become a photographer? He loved a good snap-shot.
- What do you call a bird that’s a comedian? A jay-ler!
- Why did the bird get a new bed? For a better night’s rest… in his nest.
- What’s a bird’s favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Stay in and watch a good vulture-tape.
- Why did the bird become a gardener? He had a natural talent for weeding out the bad seeds.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? His Majesty, the Royal Albatross.
- Why did the bird get a new phone? For better tweet reception.
- What’s a bird’s favorite exercise machine? The wing-cycle.
- Why did the bird become a musician? He had perfect peck-timing.
- What do you call a bird that’s a doctor? A physicanary!
- Why did the bird get a new pair of glasses? For his hawk-eyed vision.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of government? A rep-egg-lic!
- Why did the bird become a sculptor? He was great at carving with his beak.
- What do you call a bird that’s a lawyer? A legal eagle!
- Why did the bird get a new car? His old one was a clunker… just a clunker-bill.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of cookie? A nest-ie tollhouse.
- Why did the bird become a race car driver? He loved the need for seed.
- What do you call a bird that’s a hermit? A lone-some dove.
- Why did the bird get a new hat? For his feather-top.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of story? A tail-feather.
- Why did the bird become a judge? He was very just… for a jay.
- What do you call a bird that’s a thief? A robin’ hood!
- Why did the bird get a new computer? His old one was too slow… it had a dial-up mobem.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of math? Egg-onometry.
- Why did the bird become a painter? He loved a good egg-sterior.
- What do you call a bird that’s a sailor? A deck-hand… with feathers.
- Why did the bird get a new pair of shoes? For his webbed feet.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of TV show? A drama with a lot of nest-igation.
- Why did the bird become a scientist? To study the laws of aero-beak-ics.
- What do you call a bird that’s a clown? A silly goose!
- Why did the bird get a new watch? To be on peck time.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of book? A novel with a lot of plot twits.
- Why did the bird become a plumber? He was great at unclogging pipes… with his long beak.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? His Royal Highness, the Puffin.
- Why did the bird get a new bike? For his morning fly-cycle.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of music? Beak-box.
- Why did the bird become a carpenter? He was a natural at wood-pecking.
- What do you call a bird that’s a philosopher? A think-heron.
- Why did the bird get a new camera? To take egg-cellent photos.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of dance? The worm.
- Why did the bird become a dentist? He was great at filling cavi-tees.
- What do you call a bird that’s a superhero? The Incredible Hulk… no, wait. Feather-man!
- Why did the bird get a new boat? To go on a feather-ry.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of pizza? One with extra cheese… and worms.
- Why did the bird become a journalist? He was great at getting the scoop… of seeds.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? His Majesty, the Emperor Penguin.
- Why did the bird get a new pair of gloves? For his cold feet… wait, birds don’t have hands.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of movie? A chick-flick.
- Why did the bird become a pilot? He wanted to see the world from a bird’s-eye view.
- What do you call a bird that’s a chef? A saucier… with a feather hat.
- Why did the bird get a new house? His old nest was for the birds.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of game? A peck-ing order.
- Why did the bird become a magician? He was great at making things disa-peck-er.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? His Royal Majesty, the Condor.
- Why did the bird get a new pair of sunglasses? For his sunny disposition.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of tree? A p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p tree! (A woodpecker’s favorite)
- Why did the bird become a teacher? He loved to egg-ucate.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? His Royal Highness, the Swan.
- Why did the bird get a new pair of boots? For his long walks in the park.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of music? Something with a good beat you can bob your head to.
- Why did the bird become a lawyer? He was great at defending his nest-egg.
- What do you call a bird that’s a king? His Majesty, the Kingfisher.
- Why did the bird get a new computer? To avoid getting a virus… and to play Angry Birds.
- And one for the road: What did one feather say to the other? “I’ve got you under my wing.”
We hope you’ve had an egg-straordinary time and that these jokes have lifted your spirits to new altitudes! Remember, sharing a good joke is a feather in your cap. Now go forth and spread the laughter
Former farmer from India, current humor farmer in America. I apply the same care to growing jokes that I used to apply to growing crops – with patience, timing, and a deep understanding of what makes people happy.
Background: 15+ years farming, lifetime of making people laugh
