Halloween Dad Jokes for Spooky Family Fun

Halloween isn’t just about candy and costumes—it’s the one night when shadows whisper, jack-o’-lanterns leer with knowing grins, and dad jokes rise from the grave with a bone-chilling surprise. These aren’t your average puns. Oh no. Beneath their wholesome surface lurks a sinister twist, a creepy punchline, or a playfully eerie reveal that’ll make your spine tingle—even as you groan.

Perfect for families who love a little spooky suspense with their silliness, this collection delivers 105+ clean, clever, and unexpectedly haunting dad jokes. Every one is mom-approved, kid-safe, and crafted to walk the fine line between wholesome fun and delightfully unsettling—because nothing says Halloween like laughter that echoes through a haunted hallway.

So light a black candle, lock the doors (just in case), and prepare for spooky puns with a shocking twist that’ll leave your trick-or-treaters glancing over their shoulders… while still smiling.

Halloween Dad Jokes: Family-Friendly Spooky Puns with a Sinister Edge

1. Why don’t skeletons ever tell secrets?
   Because they’re afraid the truth will rattle out… and someone might dig it up.
2. What do you call a vampire who’s always watching you?
   Count Stalker-cula… but don’t worry—he only drinks O-negative… and your Wi-Fi.
3. Why did the ghost move into our attic?
   He said the previous family “passed on”… and left the lights on. Forever.
4. What’s a mummy’s idea of a perfect date?
   A candlelit dinner… where you’re the main course… wrapped to go.
5. Why did the scarecrow stop waving at kids?
   Because last year, one asked, “Are you real?”… and he hasn’t blinked since.
6. How does a witch like her eggs?
   With a curse on the side… and a screaming yolk.
7. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a graveyard?
   A gourd that grows eyes… and whispers your name at midnight.
8. Why don’t zombies use smartphones?
   Because every time they try to “swipe right,” their fingers fall off… and reanimate as dating profiles.
9. What’s Dracula’s least favorite sound?
   Garlic bread crunching… right before the stakes get driven in.
10. Why did the werewolf howl at the moon last Tuesday?
    Because it wasn’t the full moon… and he just really missed his therapist.
11. What do you call a skeleton who tells bedtime stories?
    A bone-chilling narrator… and his favorite tale? Yours.
12. Why did the jack-o’-lantern follow me home?
    Because I carved its face… and now it knows me.
13. What’s a vampire’s favorite app?
    BloodMatch… for eternal connections. (Profile says: “Just looking for someone to drain my sorrows.”)

14. Why did the ghost fail his driving test?
    He kept phasing through stop signs… and the examiner vanished in protest.

15. What do you call a witch who lives next door?
    Your new HOA president… and she hex-pects your lawn to be perfect by dawn.
16. Why don’t mummies take naps?
    Because every time they close their eyes… they dream of being unwrapped.
17. What’s a zombie’s favorite lullaby?
    “Hush little brain, don’t say a word… Daddy’s gonna eat you like a bird.”
18. Why did the skeleton sit alone at the Halloween party?
    Because everyone said, “You’ve got no skin in the game”… and honestly, he’s still recovering.
19. What do you get when you cross a black cat with your reflection?
    Seven years of bad luck… staring back at you… from inside the mirror.
20. Why did the vampire open a bakery?
    His sourdough starter is 300 years old… and it screams when you feed it.
21. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
    Boo-berry pie… served cold… like the grave.
22. Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?
    It kept hearing voices in the patch… saying, “You’re next.”

23. What do you call a skeleton who won’t stop texting?
    A bone-afide stalker… and his last message read: “I see you.”
24. Why did the witch bring a ladder to the cemetery?
    She heard the spirits were on the top shelf… and she wanted to raise them herself.
25. What’s a mummy’s favorite workout?
    The wrap-around chokehold… for “cardio.”
26. Why did the zombie start a podcast?
    Because the dead have so much to say… and no one’s listening. (Yet.)
27. What do you call a ghost who tells jokes at 3 a.m.?
    Your new roommate… and he only pays rent in cold spots.
28. Why did Frankenstein’s monster flunk cooking class?
    He kept asking, “What’s the heart of this recipe?”… while holding one in his hand.
29. What’s a vampire’s favorite sport?
    Neck wrestling… best two out of eternity.
30. Why don’t ghosts ever get lost?
    Because the void always guides them… straight to your bedroom window.
31. What do you call a skeleton who tells the truth?
    A bone-fide prophet… and his prophecy? “You’ll laugh… then check under your bed.”
32. Why did the scarecrow win “Neighbor of the Year”?
    Because no one’s seen him move… but all the missing pets have.
33. What’s a witch’s favorite subject?
    Home ec-cution… where every recipe ends in screams.
34. Why did the pumpkin get a job at the tech company?
    Because its code is hollow… just like its soul after October 31st.
35. What do you call a vampire who gardens?
    Count Compost-cula… and his roses bloom red for a reason.
36. Why did the ghost bring string to the séance?
    To tie your fate… to his.
37. What’s a zombie’s favorite breakfast?
    Brain flakes… with a side of your future.
38. Why did the skeleton arrive early to the party?
    To make sure no one replaced him while he was gone.
39. What do you call a polite werewolf?
    A were-nice… right before the moon rises.
40. Why did the mummy go to therapy?
    Because every time he tries to open up… someone unwraps him against his will.
41. What’s a ghost’s favorite game?
    Hide and shriek… and you’re it… forever.
42. Why did the vampire get banned from the library?
    He kept checking out books on how to disappear… then never returning them.
43. What do you call a skeleton who sings opera?
    A bone-afide phantom… and his high C shatters mirrors.
44. Why did the witch fail her driving test?
    She turned the instructor into a toad… and claimed it was a defensive driving technique.
45. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite app?
    Grave-r… for finding soulmates in the afterlife.
46. Why did the zombie apply to be a lifeguard?
    Because he doesn’t drown… and neither will you. (You’ll just join him.)
47. What do you call a ghost who’s a chef?
    Gordon Rams-boo… and his signature dish? Screamed scallops.
48. Why did the scarecrow get a security system?
    Because the crows finally talked back… and they know everything.
49. What’s a vampire’s favorite day?
    Fangs-giving… when the whole family gathers… for one last meal.
50. Why don’t skeletons play poker?
    Because when they go all-in… they bet their bones… and lose them anyway.
51. What do you call a mummy who tells jokes?
    A wrap-artist of dread… and his punchlines suffocate you with laughter.
52. Why did the ghost start a band?
    Because silence is deafening… and his guitar solo summons the dead.
53. What’s a witch’s favorite car?
    A broom-obile… with a trunk full of former passengers.
54. Why did the pumpkin go to space?
    To escape the patch… but the stars whispered, “You can’t run.”
55. What do you call a skeleton who drinks coffee?
    A bone-chilling barista… and his espresso wakes the dead.
56. Why did the zombie become a motivational speaker?
    Because “Rise from the dead” isn’t just a metaphor… it’s his resume.
57. What’s a ghost’s favorite shoe?
    Boo-ts… that leave no footprints… but you’ll hear them behind you.
58. Why did the vampire start a history podcast?
    Because he lived it… and your name appears in next week’s episode.
59. What do you call a werewolf who does yoga?
    A were-flex… until the moon hits, and then it’s downward dog… forever.
60. Why did the mummy open a spa?
    Because his wraps don’t just detox… they preserve you for eternity.
61. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
    The xylo-bone… played only at midnight… in the abandoned chapel.
62. Why did the scarecrow get a PhD?
    Because his thesis on “The Psychology of Being Watched” made the committee disappear.
63. What do you call a ghost who’s good at math?
    A boo-lean logician… and his proofs always end in existential dread.
64. Why did the witch start a gardening club?
    Because her roses only bloom when watered with tears… and she’s running low.
65. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?
    “The Shining”… but only the part where it says, “All work and no gourd makes Jack a dull boy.”
66. Why did the zombie start a book club?
    Because the books scream when you open them… and the discussion never ends.
67. What do you call a vampire who loves puzzles?
    Count Crossword-cula… and the final clue is always your name.
68. Why did the ghost become a weatherman?
    Because his forecasts include chance of possession: 100%.
69. What’s a mummy’s favorite snack?
    Wrap-around burritos… filled with secrets… and sand.
70. Why did the skeleton go to the beach?
    To find a bone-dry place to hide… but the tide brought back memories.
71. What do you call a polite zombie?
    A dead-icated gentleman… who holds the door… and your soul.
72. Why did the witch adopt a black cat?
    Because her last one saw too much… and now it watches from the walls.

73. What’s a ghost’s favorite holiday after Halloween?
    Thanks-ghoul-ing… when the harvest includes you.
74. Why did the vampire start a juice bar?
    Because his “Green Blood Smoothie” has ingredients you can’t pronounce… or survive.
75. What do you call a skeleton detective?
    Sherlock Bones… and the case? Your disappearance.
76. Why did the pumpkin join a band?
    Because its drum solo echoes from the grave… and the crowd never leaves.
77. What’s a werewolf’s favorite dessert?
    Moon-pies… that howl back when you bite into them.
78. Why did the mummy become a fashion designer?
    Because his latest line is called “Buried Alive Chic”… and it’s to die for.
79. What do you call a ghost poet?
    A boo-hemian… whose verses haunt your dreams.
80. Why did the scarecrow win the lottery?
    Because the numbers were written in the wind… by something that’s been watching.
81. What’s a zombie’s favorite board game?
    Dead-uction… where the winner gets reanimated.*
82. Why did the vampire start a vineyard?
    Because his wine tastes like regret… and has a body count on the label.
83. What do you call a skeleton astronomer?
    A star-gazer who knows the constellations… are watching back.
84. Why did the witch start a baking podcast?
    Because her “Soul Cakes” require one willing participant… per batch.
85. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite cause?
    Gourd-ian angels… who watch over you… from the patch.*
86. Why did the ghost become a librarian?
    Because the books whisper… and he’s the only one who listens.
87. What do you call a mummy DJ?
    DJ Wrap-ocalypse… and his beats resurrect the dance floor.
88. Why did the zombie take up knitting?
    Because his scarves are stitched with memories… of people who sat too close.
89. What’s a vampire’s favorite dog?
    A blood-hound… that tracks your last breath.
90. Why did the skeleton go to the comedy club?
    Because the jokes are rib-tickling… and so is the thing under the stage.
91. What do you call a werewolf chef?
    Gordon Rams-woof… and his kitchen is closed after full moon.
92. Why did the pumpkin start a podcast?
    Because its voice is hollow… just like the space it leaves in your heart.
93. What’s a ghost’s favorite ice cream?
    Boo-berry swirl… that melts into mist… and follows you home.
94. Why did the mummy start a travel blog?
    Because every destination he visits… loses a tourist.
95. What do you call a zombie pun-lover?
    A dead-icated wordsmith… whose last joke kills.
96. Why did the witch open a coffee shop?
    Because her “Hexpresso” comes with a free curse… and a loyalty card that binds your soul.
97. What’s a skeleton’s favorite dance?
    The bone-shake… performed only when no one’s looking.
98. Why did the scarecrow become a therapist?
    Because his advice is outstanding… and his office is always watching.
99. What do you call a vampire pilot?
    Captain Fang-tasmagoria… and his final destination is never listed.
100. Why did the ghost start YouTube?
     Because his videos have no views… but you’ll feel them watching you.
101. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite workout?
     Gourd-io… that leaves you hollow… like it.*
102. Why did the zombie become a gardener?
     Because his plants grow best in soil mixed with regret.
103. What do you call a mummy karaoke star?
     Elvis Presley-wrapped… and his encore never ends.
104. Why did the witch start a fitness class?
     Because her “Hex-ercises” burn calories… and souls.
105. What’s a skeleton’s favorite drink?
     Bone-chino… served in a cup that was once a friend.*
106. Why did the vampire become a dentist?
     Because he knows exactly how to extract your screams… painlessly.
107. What do you call a ghost scientist?
     Albert Einstein-boo… and his theory? You were never alone.
108. Why did the pumpkin win the talent show?
     Because its song was hollow… just like the silence that followed.
109. What’s a werewolf’s favorite app?
     Howl-r… where every match ends in transformation.*
110. Why did the mummy start a history podcast?
     Because he’s been wrapped in secrets… and tonight, he’s telling yours.

These 110+ Halloween dad jokes blend wholesome family fun with a playfully eerie edge—perfect for kids who love a scare that doesn’t cross into nightmare territory. Each joke delivers a surprising twist, a clever pun, and just enough spooky suspense to keep everyone glancing over their shoulder… while still laughing together.

So gather ‘round the flickering jack-o’-lantern, share a joke, and remember:
The best hauntings are the ones that end with a groan, a giggle, and a group hug.

Happy Haunting… if you dare!